Hesitations

So it’s been about a week and I haven’t updated once. This isn’t because I haven’t thought about it. I’ve drafted posts and mapped out polls and ideas for the coming semester. But I haven’t fully committed to the cause. When I was brainstorming ideas for this blog I started with the superficial: what do I like? What kind of music and movies can I indulge in through this website? How can I write about my day to day life? These topics are easy to write about. It would be no problem to sit down at the end of my day and spit out a few words on the latest film I saw or album I listened to, or to give out a few words over what I had for lunch. But I wanted to write about something that would be interesting. And so far, that’s not my life.

This topic is a little harder to tackle for me because I’m not very outspoken and blogging about my dating life doesn’t come naturally to me. But that’s why it’s worth writing about and that’s why it’s worth tackling. So starting right now I’m taking it a little less seriously. I’m gonna do it for the experience and for the fun of it all.

Personally, I have a really hard time being attracted to people I don’t know, which is why Tinder and Bumble and just face-based apps don’t appeal to me as much. It’s the kind of thing I would download and flip through to see if there’s anyone online that I recognize, and then I might match with someone. But the second that happens I get scared/intimidated/feel-like-I-owe-them-something which is all irrational and shouldn’t be true. So I’m taking things “less seriously”. Which is not easy for me, because I’m the kind of person who cares too much about everything. So I guess now’s the time to rip off the bandaid and get messy? Or some other kind of weird “go get ’em!” metaphor? But I’m ready now. I’m settling in. Reject me! I’m ready! I don’t care anymore!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *